July 9, Day 17: Homesick

For all of the good stuff I've experienced in El Salvador, I have to admit at this point that I am beginning to feel a little homesick. It is not homesick in the way that I would have expected though; while I miss my physical possessions and the people, there are some things I long for that surprise even me. So here it is: the top five things I currently miss the most about my life in the US.

5. Hot showers: Apparently cold water is good for your skin, keeps you looking youthful, etc. I wouldn't be surprised if that is true, and I've gotten used to it enough that I can tolerate the cold water pouring over me, but really, sometimes I just want a refreshing hot shower. First world problems...

4. Commitments: Sad as it is to say, I really need some sort of commitment in my life to keep me occupied. School, sports, a job, whatever it may be, I like it when something keeps me focused. That doesn't equate to me wanting to be tied down; I genuinely love traveling. However, I need a sense of purpose, and excluding blogging, my activity here has been all over the place. I would say it expands my views and is necessary, but I'd love to find something to do that is genuinely meaningful. Summers are a pretty purposeless time for me anyway, so that might not be because I'm in El Salvador, but still, it is easier to find something to commit to when you are familiar with the people, places, and general occupations of an area.

3. Locational knowledge: I love exploring new places, but without a phone, car, or GPS, I can only travel in the company of someone who knows the area. The gym is literally the only place I can walk to by myself; I don't know enough Spanish to successfully communicate my destination desires to a taxi or bus driver, and being alone in El Salvador is potentially hazardous for gringos and women.

2. Arby's: It is beyond tragic that Arby's made it to #2 on my list, but I've been craving it since the day I arrived. I practically lived on Arby's during the first month and a half of summer I spent in the States. The employees recognized me and knew what I wanted the instant I arrived. A Jamocha Shake. Mozzarella Sticks. A Reuben Sandwich. Unhealthy, I know. I pray to the sweet lord that my cravings will be gone by the time I am back in the States; if two months without it doesn't cure me of this food lust, I don't know what will.

1. English: I knew what I was getting into the moment I came here, but it only just now occurs to me how badly I miss English. I can still usually understand the intent of what is being spoken to me, but it is intolerable when I have to give choppy or single-worded responses. There have been many opportunities to bond with friendly strangers, in basketball, at Connie's university, etc. and the limits of my Spanish have essentially blocked each and every potential friendship. Even last night when I was hanging out with a girl I was interested in named Gaby, the fact that we were hanging out in Gerardo's home meant that she was free to pursue conversations with others in Spanish and I could only attempt to comprehend what they were saying, a mentally exhausting feat. That chance might have flown out the window...I've GOT to learn some damn Spanish.

One.